I used to think that my life was made up of a few very big decisions. I can sometimes look back and pick out those big moments where my life changed in a completely different direction. The no going back, this is huge kind of direction. The ones where my life would look completely different if I would have decided on...well...something else.
Breaking up with my high school sweetheart, getting married, going to college, getting a divorce....there is a timeline of events that would have set me on a much different trajectory had I just turned left instead of right.
We don't have a tendency to look in the rearview mirror too much because then we erase all of the good that is presently going on in our lives. We forget that we are most likely exactly where we are supposed to be...learning lessons, offering other people lessons, making a difference. But lately, I am not as impressed with these huge life altering choices and finding that the small daily decisions are what's driving my future. These little gems show up several times a day and have this immense impact on how our life shifts, even in the most smallest of ways. They build upon one another and effect us in the moment, and how we respond to these mini shifts sets us up for how we are going to be treated or how we are going to step up down the line. They get harder to break apart, as time goes on, so making conscious mini shifts, almost daily, becomes so important...so important.
Lately, I have been paying a lot of attention to authenticity. Coming to every interaction bringing my true self and making decisions based on connection. Basing all of my mini decisions on love, instead of fear, connection instead of fractures, openness instead of turning away. But within all of this lies those boundaries and everytime we lay one down, whether it be with work, friends or loved ones, we take a chance of someone walking right past them. And depending on what we do when that happens, we create a mini shift. Leaning one way to invite more or leaning the other way to hold your line. And friends, I am all about compromise, but please, hold that line. Hold your line tight, because a storm is coming and everything that you have worked so hard to become is at risk if you don't put a value on who you are.
And sometimes that is all we have.
I have been in those situations where my line wasn't so solid. Where I made decisions out of fear, where I have let myself be disregarded, disrespected, ignored, minimized, dismissed, where I have let the same behavior into my life...over and over again...sometimes in big ways and sometimes in small, little ways that just keep building up over time. And everytime that I allow...everytime that I make a decision about letting that happen, things shift...just a little, and I turn away from being authentic. I turn away from love. I turn away from who I am meant to be. And in this life...there really is nothing left when we are no longer who we are or practicing who we want to be.
When we don't show up fully and expect, without hesitation, for people to treat us as if they really do have our back. To know our vulnerabilities and to keep them safe, at all costs. To not throw you under the bus the first chance they get. These are the people, when you find them, that are worth riding out the storm with. The people that shifting towards, instead of shifting away from, becomes so important. That you can bring your most authentic self to the table and not only do they grab your hand to walk along side of you, you start to feel safe...And with the dark clouds approaching and the rain starting to come down, we all need to have people in our lives that will turn towards us and share their umbrella....even if it means they get a bit wet.