the beauty of grief
I had so many incredible emails from all of you regarding my post on letting go (read it here). We are all deep in this process. We are all feeling the many changes that are happening all around us. We are all finding comfort in knowing we are in this together...we are not alone...even if sometimes it may feel that way.
This year, I have had a lot of practice in letting go. Letting go of people, ideas on what I wanted my future to look like, and the things around me. I have lost freinds who have moved on to start new chapters in thier life. I have had heartache knock at my door, kick it down and refuse to leave. I have watched my two girls come to the decision to attend the local public school, despite being homeschooled for the last 15 years. And my 18 year old son, predictably, is moving out to start his own journey.
I could get stuck in any one of these places. I could stay in any one of these places. I have been in these places before. I have known what it feels like to be at the bottom of the barrel, scraping the sides trying to get out. I know what it feels like to to just have enough of your head above the water, as to not drown completely. I know what it feels like to want to cover up all of this pain with distracting myself so much that I find that I am really just distracting myself from...well...myself. And readers, that's a place we don't need to stay too long.
And I know you have felt this way too. And I know, that in a lot of instances, we have stayed there too long. Because sometimes there is comfort in pain. It makes us know that we still feel. We are still human. We are still alive. And sometimes, we are not ready to invite the beauty back into our lives...just not quite yet.
It's a process, this thing called grief. There's no timeline for it, really. It's born out of love. It has roots in our expectations. It comes from loss, perceived or real. It wakes us up in the middle of the night wishing things were different in every possible way. But friends...it can also be a powerful catalyst.
Stay with me for a minute. And breathe.
We all have the ability to come out ahead. We all have the ability to turn this around. To see things as they are instead of seeing them for worse than what they are. We all have the ability to change the stories we have been telling ourselves and get to the real truth about how we ended up here. Becuase, really...things are always working out for us and these lessons in grief or loss invite you to see what you are capable of. Invite you to grow, gain strength, maybe clarity. And through the pain, you may find that you can do this. Without a doubt, today, you can do this.
Today you can see what is going on in your life for what it is. We can process the cards that we have been dealt with in a way that heals instead of hurts. In a way that forgives instead of creating more anger. In a way that allows instead of fighting. With perspective, we have the power to heal.
Because how are you going to know what is inside of you if you don't have these life experiences that cause you to look for it, find it, and work through it? Time and time again.
There is no way around this, readers. You can only go through it. And sometimes that is exactly what we need to do to come out on the other side with love...mostly for ourselves. There is always something better on the other side...always. Invite more of these opportunities into your life and know that what ever is happening to you right now is because things are always working out for you. Even if it doesn't feel like that right now.
Just wait. You'll see.