Finding the pockets of good
Yesterday we put our tree up. Seven days before Christmas. I wish I could be one of those parents that is on top of everything in a timely manner, but lately I am being pulled in so many directions that I am actually grateful we have a tree this late.
Snow tires were just put on our cars, despite the first snow fall being a couple months ago. Our bathroom is still in the 'not quite finished' mode for the last two years. My office is half painted, there is a curtain on the pantry door where a door should go. I have a leaky kitchen pipe that, instead of getting fixed, I put a bowl there to catch the endless drips of water. And I just paid my property taxes...from last year. Maybe this all sounds familar to you.
You see...despite me single parenting for over a decade. I am still figuring it all out. I am still figuring out how to run a business while keeping track of basketball practices. I am still remembering to pack my kid's lunches in the mornings while I am in the middle of packing body care orders. I am shoveling snow, keeping the firewood stocked, remembering to put salt in the water softner, unclogging drains, and keeping tabs on the propane tank (last year we ran out...twice). I am running out at the last minute because my 10 year old, overnight, grew out of her winter boots...and my 16 year old wants more gomacro bars for lunch. It's never ending. As you know.
But depsite all of this, there are these little pockets where I feel I can breathe a little easier. Pockets like my neighbor, who brought down a homemade dinner and bottle of russian vodka (thank you), just because he sees how much we needed something like that. And the lady at the hardware store that not only found us our last minute Christmas tree (her brother in law cut one down for us), she also delivered it. And the local tire shop that shifted their appointments around so that he could put snow tires on our car before our Minneapolis trip. The alpaca socks that were gifted to me by one of my best friends, the dinner my parents are bringing for Christmas so we don't have to cook, the firewood a friend cut and stacked for me...all of these little things mean so much and remind me that this...this is what I live for. This is the good stuff, readers. And although I can feel a bit scattered with all that is going on around me, this is the shit that centers me. People. Good people. People like you, I imagine that have supported us, sent us words of encouragement and have just been witness to all that has gone on this past year. I appreciate each and every one of you.
So, as this year comes to an end, I am shifting my focus once again to gratitude and love. Bringing more of both in my life. Which I imagine, with all that is around me, will not be hard to do...despite all that still needs to be done. Because there is always stuff that needs to be done. But right now, I will set that aside to appreciate what is done, who is showing up and who I can show up for. Who I want to create stronger connections with, how I want to spend my time, and who I want to spend it with. It is the time for intentions, friends...to set in motion the future you are wanting to be apart of. To actively create this instead of passively accept what comes to us. We can do this. We got this.
But, in the meantime...
Those holiday cards and gifts to my far away friends and family...I really hope you get them in time for Christmas, but they are still sitting on my kitchen table.
Happy holidays y'all.